I'm Glad My Mom Died (McCurdy)

I'm Glad My Mom Died
by Jennette McCurdy (2022)

(Not a review, just some notes to help me remember the things I've read. But written this way because it's the Internet, and some people will stumble across this page.)

This was a book club choice, but it got 0 votes, which is surprising because I thought I'd voted for it. It was the first one available for the library. I read it, without the audiobook. I get the feeling that the audio might've been difficult to listen to, both storywise and the way it was told.

Jennette appears to have OCD but she is diagnosed as Mormon. That attempt at humor as about on par with the tone of the book. Her mother dreamed of being a star and wanting that for her daughter. Jennette has older siblings, but she is the one that got pushed into acting. And she always did everything her mother wanted because she loved her mother and her mother loved her and wanted the best for her. Or so she believed to be the case at the time. Much of the narrative is written in the naive voice of a person who came to an ephiphany much later in life.

Unlike other Disney stars who came from wealthier background, McCurdy's family was poor, and her mother, a hoarder, delayed paying bills and kept the creditors away as best as she could. She also leans heavily into the story that she's a cancer survivor. McCurdy's big claim to fame, as far as her resume was concerned, was her ability to cry on command. THis was something casting directors looked for and it got her many parts.

Problems arose at puberty when her body started to develop and she wouldn't be able to play kiddie parts any more. Her mother encouraged her to become anorexic. Other mothers notice and told her mom, not realizing that she was the cause of it. Anorexia later gave way to bullima when McCurdy got more successful and got start binging on food.

Her big break was, of course, iCarly, where I know her from, although I likely saw at least some of her earlier bit parts. She refers to the person in charge there simply as "The Creator" and never names him. The Creator is able to control her with the promise of her own show when "iCarly" wraps up (years in the future). The first time he meets with The Creator alone, without her mother (whose cancer has returned), he gives her an alcoholic beverage, which she drinks because she wants to make him happy, and this is followed by some massaging. Not many details are giving here but when the show ends, her "team" (lawyers, agents, whoever) on a conference call tell her that there's a $300,000 bonus for her so long as she never talks about the Creator's behavior. To her credit, she calls it out as hush money and refuses to take it. To her further credit, in the book she includes her reaction after the call as "did I really just turn down $300,000?" Even after a successful series, McCurdy may be well off but she isn't exactly wealthy.

She goes into details about Sam & Cat, the followup show she did with Arianna Grande when she'd been promised her own show. McCurdy was denied chances to pursue a movie career while shooting "Sam" but Grande was allowed to leave to do singing performances. One time, she missed so many days that the episode was rewritten so that her character was locked inside a box for the duration of the episode. McCurdy had to act opposite a box and Grande's line were dubbed in later. A final straw happened when McCurdy's promised directorial debut was canceled because someone threatened to leave the show if she directed it. (Grande isn't named here, but no one else had that clout.)

Along the way, we read about her first kiss, her real first kiss, her first adult relationship, losing her virginity, and her therapists. The book is divided into Before and After her mother's death, and it's quite a while into the after that she starts to piece everything together.

This was an interesting and a quick read. I don't know if I would've read it if it hadn't come up an option for the book club (and was immediately available). Had it been a different actress, say from any of the children's shows that I didn't watch with my kids, I probably would've returned it to the library as soon as I knew that it had lost the vote.

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